Part 5 : The blooming flower of self love.

Firstly let us take a deep breath together, shall we? Count four in with me, 1…2…3…4, and release. Three out, 1…2…3. Do a few of these, as many as you'd like. It feels good to breathe deeply, it connects us to our body and the moment. We have covered quite a bit of heavy stuff, haven't we? Today I want to bring in the love. It is my favorite part of the healing process! I have always considered myself a hopeless romantic, someone who had so much love to give but never received the things I desired. I was projecting my expectations and fantasies onto others because I thought that those expectations needed to be fulfilled by a partner. But I discovered something crazy, or at least it was crazy to me. The expectations I had impressed upon others, were always available to me; Through me. I could be the love I was desperately awaiting. To use a rather played out but lovely analogy, I was awaiting a prince so bold as to rescue me. When the escape was possible all on my own with enough dedication to myself. I did not need someone to make me complete, I could become everything I desired. All on my own.

Self-love isn't specifically the kind we see all over social media, you don't have to be an extremely happy and visibly confident person to practice it. For me, treating myself like someone who I am in love with and want to make happy is the easiest way to practice self-love. When I look at myself with an infatuation with the way I view others I begin to truly learn my needs, wants, and requirements in relationships I have with others. Do you love flowers? but maybe you dislike grocery store bouquets, and it's all you've ever received. Maybe all you've ever dreamed of is a bouquet of freshly cut, expertly arranged flowers from the local florist. So why not go and buy it for yourself?

“ Oh well you can't just buy yourself flowers, that's something your partner is supposed to do for you”

Why? Who said that you can only feel cherished if someone decides to cherish you? Why are YOU not the only one who can define how cherished you feel? What would happen if you did go buy those flowers? You could choose the perfect flowers, just how you like them, choose the perfect vase, just how you like it. Then when you get home and find the perfect place for them, just how you like them; they will bring you joy and comfort. What's more, you will feel valued by the most important person in your life, you. We can and should romance ourselves. This is the basis for strong self-worth.

When you know what you love, and how you prefer being loved; you can demand it from the people around you. Your relationships will be healthier and you will feel the benefits of stability and healthy boundaries.

What are some ways we can begin to show ourselves, love? Especially if we are starting from a place of deep self-loathing? Begin with consistency, brush your teeth and wash your face daily, and commit to a morning routine and small amounts of daily exercise. Just a short walk or morning stretch to start. The changes don't need to be extreme or immediate. But over time you'll notice that the standard begins to get higher. Well if I shower and brush my teeth every morning, maybe I can have a bath? and maybe I can add oils and salts! Oh and maybe it can become a weekly ritual, and so on.

You become bolder, and you can begin taking yourself out and treating yourself to things you'd been waiting to receive.

pretty soon you'll be in love with the most beautiful person in the whole world. And that's a love that will last you a lifetime. I hope you can be inspired to show yourself the gentle touch and deep romance you deserve. Go and buy yourself from flowers.

-With love, ASE