The heart wants what the mind haunts.

Every time I sit down to write one of these posts, my brain converts into melting ice cream on my front stoop. I had always seemed to think it was because I lacked ambition or skill, but in truth I think it is because I write form a core place within me. A heart place, and so often the mind and the heart are at odds with one another

That brings me to the topic I’ve chosen to speak on today. The relationship between heart and mind, how tumultuous it is. Early in the week i had the great pleasure of dining with one of my best friends, a kind and caring soul with one of the most noble hearts I've ever known. During our talks they expressed a sadness of longing, their heart desired partnership and connection; but their life had been full of undeserved heartbreak, and their mind had reasoned that based on this it was unlikely that they would ever find love. The mind can reason us into many things. Even untrue things , but where did the separation of Mind and heart come in? When did the heart lose sway and the mind take control? Is it best for us to separate our heart from our Minds? Or is it against our best interest? When we consider the relationship between our logical self and our empathetic self ( for the sake of this little piece lets call our logical mind the ego, and lets call the heart The self. ) we must take into account the different ways these halves are impacted.

The ego is naturally shaped by the word around us, societal norms and expectations, The institutions of race, religion, And class shape our ego and its function. Which is essentially To be our presenting face, decision making power, and value system in the world. The ego tells us when something is socially unacceptable , or when we should consider “the way things really are” Logical; but certainly influenced by the forces that govern polite society. The self however, the inner and true self governs our desires, our moral compass, our compassion and our emotional needs. So as is often times the case, these two sides go to war with one another often. The self yearns for companionship, love, romance and long walks on the beach. The ego tells us we have been burned before and shouldn't get our hopes up, and we live much too far from the beach to take a trip there just for a walk; with the way gas prices are now.

There are areas where these two parts of us intersect however, and when they do they often create wonderful magic, a career path you are passionate about for example. So how can we live in harmony with these two different selves, and should we? Some would argue that the ego is necessary for civil society. How would one know what's right from wrong? How would someone know their place in the world? Everyone would just be shameless heathens refusing to work and commiting CRIME! Or so goes the narrative, but most peoples desires are far from this. Surely there are those who desire those things, if there weren't any these problems wouldn't even exist but In truth the desires of the average person fall more into the positive aspirations lane.

"I want to find true love"

"I want to see the world"

"I want to be wealthy"

When we match these up to their Ego counterpart often the desire is refuted by facts.

"You have never had success in love, you just aren't conventionally attractive. Focus on more reasonable goals"

" You're finances are a mess, how can you travel when you can't pay your rent on time?"

" You have no college degree, you work minimum wage, and you have no savings. You'll never have financial stability"

So if these two parts are always warring, how do we broker peace? The simple answer is we don't. One must choose if they want to live a life in the Ego, or if they want to truly exist for and with the self. The two are always at Odds because that is their nature, their design. One is a construct of the human mind and society, built almost exclusively as a way to ground you in the human experience and challenge your higher being. The other is a reflection of our consciousness, an intangible energy made manifest by our souls reason for being on this earthly plane. If you adhere to these sorts of things, one could certainly argue that there is no separation because there is no soul; no higher consciousness or extra-dimensional force which has sway over our world. This is an entry however made by a highly spiritual individual, and the forces at play here are not external but internal in the truest deepest sense.

So must we choose? What would a life separate from the ego even look like? Well you MUST not do anything, everything in this life is a choice. We can choose to believe we will never achieve our goals, we can choose to come to terms with "the reality" of our situations ( a term that frustrates me to no end) but the real truth. The only truth, is that we know nothing for certain. Nothing. Not even death is fully certain, because it's something we don't fully know or understand in it's entirety.

So if even death is uncertain, how are you so sure you're reality is ? Reality simply refers to what exists in time and space around you. It was not reality for Van Gough to be a famous painter, He was a man, and a fucked up man at that; but here we are over 100 years later and he is hailed as one of the greatest painters of ALL TIME. It was not a reality for me to be happy, for a very long time I accepted that I would be alone and deeply misunderstood for all eternity. Now I am alone, happily! Exploring my self and my identity in a journey with all the parts of me that never knew such companionship before, surrounded by like minds, and compassionate people who care deeply for me. This is my new reality, one which I forged myself. Once I told my ego to take the back seat of course.

Now all of this isn't to say that Ego is bad, it's an essential level in the human game; but all things that serve a purpose aren't meant to last forever.

The relationship between the head and the heart is a tale as old as time, we have battled the heart with logic for centuries and often we lose anyway. So why battle it? In the words of a great fictional lion "remember who you are" trust your heart, it's faith may be misguided at times but it is metaphorically and literally at the center of your being. Use your mind in matters of materium. But always always ALWAYS, hear your heart first when you think of possibilities, dreams, love and future endeavors. It has a longing, and that longing can be reality. If you believe it, it is. When it arrives or how may not be fully in your power, but it will arrive. Trust.

- with love, Àse